Marking the anniversary of their passing

When someone close to us passes, the anniversary of that date or other important dates (e.g., of a diagnosis) can weigh heavy on our hearts. Below are a few ideas on how to care for yourself and others as you navigate this time.

CELEBRATE THEM

  • Plan a party - Remember them together with their community

  • Do what they loved - Watch their favorite movie, go to their favorite restaurant, do an activity you know they'd love

  • Visit their gravesite, ashes, or a space you associate with them - This visit can be as somber or celebratory as you'd like

  • Share photos and stories - Email or text the photos to others, look at photos on your computer together via a group Zoom call, or add to their LifeWeb page

  • Do nothing - Totally fine, be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to stay private if you'd like

CHECK-IN WITH OTHERS

Not sure what to say to someone on the anniversary of their person’s death? We hear you, and there really isn’t much you can say that will make it better. However, acknowledging their person and being their for them will do a world of good.

It’s often cited by grieving people that others shy away from saying their person’s name, probably because they don’t want to remind them of their death. But of course, they didn’t forget their person died, and by saying their name you acknowledge their life and their relationship with their person, which doesn’t end when they die. You help them not be alone in their remembering of their person.

If you like hyper-tactical guidance, look no further than this article with specific ideas of what to say to support someone in your life grieving the anniversary of their loved one’s death.

Mark big milestones

There is no time limit or volume limit to memorial events. Milestone anniversaries like 1, 5, and 10 years are a great time to bring your person’s community together for a special event, tribute, or just to be together.

With more lead time available for planning than you may have had for their funeral service, consider:

  • A reunion of all or a sub-set of the community that loves your person (e.g., summer camp friends getting together at their childhood summer camp)

  • A memorial fundraiser event that captures their essence, like a spaghetti dinner for someone that was a great cook (or loved to eat!), or a memorial run to celebrate a distance runner

  • A physical project, like creating quilt squares over the course of the year representing different aspects of the person’s personality, to be assembled together on a milestone anniversary of their passing

  • A memorial trip to a place they loved, grew up, or always wanted to go

How will you mark this day?

Have more ideas? Send us a note! We’d love to hear how you are marking this day. As a LifeWeb community, we are stronger understanding how else we might support each other.